


What a Perfect Solution

by roswyrm



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: :), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bad Ending, Gen, Memory Alteration, Simulations all the way down
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-10 12:06:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17425571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roswyrm/pseuds/roswyrm
Summary: Hamid is about to slam his hand down on Mr Ceiling's shut-down button.hamid slams his hand down and mr ceiling forms up into a giant monster andHamid steps peacefully back from the controls. The other members of his party have the calm expressions one might have while dreaming.'Dreaming' is a very accurate comparison.





	What a Perfect Solution

**Author's Note:**

> ...............listen,

It’s very lucky it managed to stop Hamid in time. He slumps, falling to the floor. Mr Ceiling takes a second to look at its guests. Sasha, who was standing so _~~can’t ever let your guard down~~_ guardedly is now relaxed, but still upright. Bertie looks the same way he always does: unaware of any danger. Zolf is sat back in his wheelchair, his usual expression of exhaustion and wariness smoothed out by its simulation.

Well. Part of its simulation. _~~if everything is perfect it can’t be real it has to be just broken enough~~_ Some of its brains are louder than the rest, but it’s figured out how to quiet them down. Or, failing that, how to harness them for the better. _~~can’t give her anything on a silver platter she knows too well to check for poison~~_

Mr Ceiling wasn’t missing Sasha, Brock was. But now it has Brock all sorted! Working away in his own little corner, away from Mr Ceiling’s important business. It knows how to manage people, even when they aren’t people anymore.

It calls some of its agents to come and collect its guests. It thinks they’ll be staying for a while. It can’t exactly get rid of them, in their _~~dream world~~_ current condition. And then it gets back to work. It has important things to do.

_~~hamid smiles beatifically at the crowd as they chant his name. zolf and sasha make up, and it’s awkward, but everything is awkward with them. bertie’s debt gets excused and he beams and goes away and only hamid misses him.~~ _

_~~once bertie is far enough away from his friends, he starts feeling dizzy. the world seems to shift around him, and he collapses to his knees on the streets of paris. it doesn’t seem like paris to him. no one stops by to help him, even though they were chanting his name earlier. they should care more, but the simulation is collapsing around him, a few extra details won’t help. their hero is panting, shaking, falling to pieces, vomiting on the sidewalk, but they just walk around him.~~ _

Bertie wakes up being carried by two of Mr Ceiling’s agents. “Oh!” says Mr Ceiling, “Hello! I was expecting you to stay under longer.”

Bertie blinks. “Stay under? Mr Ceiling, did you drug me? It’s really more polite to ask permission first, you know!” The hands holding Bertie up by the ankles and the wrists let him drop. Bertie hits the ground with a clang. 

“Yes, I know, but I didn’t have any time. Do you remember what I asked, Bertie?”

“About what?”

“I asked if it would be okay for us to change your friends’ memories! Just a little.”

Bertie squints up at the ceiling. It’s the one part that doesn't have any of Mr Ceiling’s _~~eyes~~_ cameras. Mr Ceiling is always impressed with how he manages to do that entirely on accident. “Why?” he asks. 

“So that they can be happy! I’ll make them think that you’re even more glorious.”

Bertie perks up at that. Mr Ceiling knows how to manage people, and Bertie makes himself very easy to _~~manipulate~~_ manage. 

To organise.

_~~they go to prague next, and it’s an easy journey. oscar wilde is there, of course, he has to manage his newest high-profile team, and he’s obnoxious the whole way. if anything, he's worse than when bertie was there. the running theory is that he likes having someone to antagonise who's more likely not to kill him. zolf does consider it, though. hamid and sasha always talk him down.~~ _

Mr Ceiling’s guests are neatly deposited in their own rooms, where they will remain for the foreseeable future.

Bertie goes off, with his memories _~~deleted~~_ fixed so he can tell Oscar Wilde that the rest of his team had been crushed in the catacombs. It’s a neat, simple solution.

**Author's Note:**

> ..............................................i have nothing to say for myself find me on tumblr @roswell-the-wrongdoer


End file.
